Mental Health and Wellness

Alcohol and Substance Abuse Will Not Take Away Your Fears

2012-01-17T09:25:00.000-05:00

Today I'm featuring another article by Stan Popovich. Yesterday's article received a lot of views. I hope you all enjoy this one as well.

ALCOHOL AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE WILL NOT TAKE AWAY YOUR FEARS

By: Stanley Popovich

Alcohol and substance abuse or any other addictions will not take away your problems and fears. In the short run, they might make you feel better, but in the long run these addictions will only make things worse.

So what do you do to make your problems and fears go away? Well, since you can’t runaway from them, then the best solution is to tackle your fears head on no matter how strong they may be. The key is to be smart in how you try to manage these fears. Here are some ways in how to manage your persistent fears and anxieties.

The first step is to learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week. Next week will take care of itself.

Remember that no one can predict the future with one hundred percent certainty. Even if the thing that you feared does happen there are circumstances and factors that you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage. For instance, let’s say at your place of work that you miss the deadline for a project you have been working on for the last few months. Everything you feared is coming true. Suddenly, your boss comes to your office and tells you that the deadline is extended and that he forgot to tell you the day before. This unknown factor changes everything. Remember: we may be ninety-nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to make a world of difference.

Another technique that is very helpful is to have a small notebook of positive statements that makes you feel good. Whenever you come across an affirmation that makes you feel good, write it down in a small notebook that you can carry around with you in your pocket. Whenever you feel depressed or frustrated, open up your small notebook and read those statements. This will help to manage your negative thinking.

Be smart in how you deal with your fears and anxieties. Do not try to tackle everything all at once. When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, break the task into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

The important thing is to get the proper help by seeing a professional. Avoiding your problem through the use of alcohol or other substances will do nothing in the long run in fixing your problems. It will just make things worse. Managing your fear and anxieties will take some hard work. Be patience, persistent and stay committed in trying to solve your problem.

BIOGRAPHY:

Stan Popovich is the author of "A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods" - an easy to read book that presents a general overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com/

How to Convince an Addict to Get Help

2012-01-16T14:36:00.000-05:00

How To Convince An Addict To Get Help

By: Stan Popovich

Many people who struggle with alcohol or drugs have a hard time getting better. There are many reasons why these people do not get the help they need to get better. Many family members who see their loved ones struggle have a very difficult time in getting their loved ones assistance. Here are six suggestions on how to convince a person struggling with alcohol or drugs to get the help they need to get better.

1. Family Intervention

The most popular way to get someone the help they need is to do a family intervention. This is when family members and an interventionist get together with the addict to tell them how they love them and wish that they get help to get better. Each family member takes a turn and tells the person how special they are and that they need to get help. The person who is struggling listens and hopefully they become convinced to get the help they need.

2. Talk To The Person On What Will Happen If They Do Not Get Help

Another way to convince the person who is struggling with alcohol or drugs is to get someone who is an expert on addiction and have them do a one on one talk with this person. This expert on addiction should explain to the addict what will happen if they do not get the help they need to get better. Basically, the expert should warn the person of the dire consequences of what will happen if they do not change their ways. The expert should be vivid as possible and hold nothing back. The goal is to convince the person to get help or they will suffer a fate worse than death as their life will slowly come to an end.

3. Use The Services of A Professional Or A Former Addict

Try to find a professional or even a former addict who has "Been There" to talk to the person. This is similar to Step Two, however this time instead of scaring the person, these professionals can use their skills to talk and try to reason with the person. These experts are usually trained and can use a proactive approach into trying to convince the addict to get help. The goal is to try to reason with the person.

4. Find Out The Reasons Why The Person Won't Get Help

Many people overlook this suggestion. Ask the person who is struggling with alcohol or drugs to list 3 reasons why they will not get help. At first, they will say all kinds of things, but continue to engage the person and get the 3 main reasons why they refuse to get help. It might take a couple of tries but listen to what they say. Once you get the answers, WRITE them down on a piece of paper. Note: Fear and Frustration are huge factors for the person not getting help.

5. Determine The Solutions To Those Barriers

Once you get those 3 reasons, then get a professional or an expert to find the solutions to those issues. For example, the person says that they won't get help because they tried a few times and they failed and that they will fail again. Ask a few addiction professionals to find a solution to this issue that will help the addict overcome this barrier. One good answer to this example is the following: "Yes, you tried to get better and failed however this time we will do things differently. We will keep a daily diary of everything you do and you or someone else will document what you do each day. If you stumble or fail you will write down your feelings at the time and why you failed. When you recover from a bad episode you can READ your diary and find out what went wrong. Once you know what went wrong you will know why you failed and will find a way to prevent this from happening again."

Use your list from step three and list every positive thing that will counter those barriers. When your finished, present this to the person who is struggling and explain what you came up with. This will help reduce the person's fears and anxieties and may convince them to get help. Developing a plan to counter their reasons of not getting help will go a long way.

6. Talk to the Person Instead of Talking At Them

Nobody wants to be lectured. Be honest with them and tell them that it will require some hard work on their part but that they can get better. If they don't get help, they will suffer. The person who is struggling is scared and they need help in overcoming their fears and resistance to getting help. Remember to find out those fears, address possible solutions to those fears, and you will have a better chance of getting through to that person. Hopefully, sooner or later, you will be able to get through to the person. The key is to be persistent. Be very persistent. Also, it would help a lot to have everybody pray for that person. Involving God with your current situation can sometimes produce unexpected results.

BIOGRAPHY

Life Milestones and Autism: Testing Abstract Concepts

2012-01-15T14:02:00.000-05:00

I ran across this article today by Jeremy Robb, and really felt the need to share. As caregivers, parents, loved ones and friends these types of articles are few and far between in certain areas (depending on our geographical location). I hope you take a look not only at this article Life Milestones and Autism: Testing Abstract Concepts, but also at Schothoser's Corner which is also his blog.

As a strong believer in sharing exponential knowledge for other caregivers to learn from I'm glad that I ran across this particular blog regarding Autism. I hope you enjoy the article as much as I did and if you don't have a child with Autism hopefully this will bring about a better understanding for you, of caregivers for those with Autism.

Beauty is Everywhere!

2012-01-14T17:39:00.000-05:00

"Looking for and enjoying beauty is a way to nourish the soul. The universe is in the habit of making beauty. There are flowers and songs, snowflakes and smiles, acts of great courage, laughter between friends, a job well done, the smell of fresh-baked bread. Beauty is everywhere."

--Matthew Fox

Life of flowers (Жизнь цветов) from VOROBYOFF PRODUCTION on Vimeo.

May beauty and joy fill your life today. May you take time to notice the small things in life that are beautiful to you and may they bring you peace.

Caregivers and Depression

2012-01-13T13:38:00.000-05:00

Caregiving Plus Depression

Caregiving does not cause depression. Does this meanthat caregivers are immune to developing depression? No! This simply means thatwhile some individuals will experience depression, not all individuals will.

At this point I would to make it clear that thepeople that do develop depression do not develop it out of weakness or becausethey are any less of a person than anyone else. If you are a caregiver, lovedone, or friend of a caregiver you might want to check out this link Caregivers– Know Your Worth.

The health community is reporting that familycaregivers suffer from depression at twice the rate of the general population. “Arecent study found that 41% of former caregivers of a spouse with Alzheimer’sdisease or another form of dementia experienced mild to severe depression up to3 years after their spouse had died.”

Individuals that have never been in a position tocare for a loved one are sometimes uninformed of the causes for depression.Now, this may very well include other family members that are not involved inthe caring process.

For this particular reason here is a breakdown ofcauses so that everyone may understand.

Caregivers:

v Sacrificetheir own physical needs

v Sacrificetheir own emotional needs

v Mayincur physical and/or emotional strain

v Someexperience anxiety

v Oftenfeel isolated from the outside world, friends, and other family members

Those 5 core reasons are enough for any individualto experience symptoms of depression.

Signs and Symptoms:

1) Persistent sad, anxious, or emptyfeelings

2) Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism

3) Feelings of quilt, worthlessness orhelplessness

4) Irritability, restlessness

5) Loss of interest in activities orhobbies once pleasurable, including sex

6) Fatigue and decreased energy

7) Difficulty concentrating, rememberingdetails, and making decisions

8) Insomnia, early morning wakefulness, orexcessive sleeping

9) Overeating or appetite loss

10) Thoughtsof suicide, suicide attempts

11) Aches,pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even withtreatment

When reading this list as a caregiver or friend,loved one of a caregiver we should understand where symptoms 1 – 4 come from.Symptom number 5 often comes from the sacrifice caregivers do in or to takebetter care of their loved one or friend. Numbers 6 – 11 on the symptom listshould be self explanatory.

The main purpose for writing out this information?

1. If you are a caregiver and you noticesimilarities of your lifestyle, feelings or can identify with some or all ofthe items on the symptoms list – It is okay! Why is it okay? Because you havemade yourself consciously aware of what you may be going through, and inknowing this you are in a better position to seek help from a medicalprofessional. You need to know and understand that you are not alone! There areresources available to aid you in your situation and other individuals that canhelp you. Whether it is medicinally or through therapy or the one I love thebest if the option is there – both. There are medical professional out there tohelp. There are support groups for caregivers. If your support group for yourarea is an hour away, and that is not an option for you don’t forget there aresupport groups online.

2. If you know a caregiver – Honor theirdedication with your support and time. As we all need to know we are loved andthought of, remember the caregiver in your life by offering a hug, offering tohelp run errands, most of all offer your support and acknowledge their personalsacrifice.

While I have pulled statics, signs and symptoms fromother great websites I write from the heart and with personal experience andknowledge of this particular subject.

In closing, my hope for you all is to understand,that take care of another we must first take care of ourselves! Each new day isa fresh beginning, know that you are not alone, and wish for you all to hope, supportand encouragement in your day to day lives.

Resources: NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health)

FCA (Family Caregiver Alliance)

New Beginnings

2012-01-10T13:01:00.000-05:00

New Beginnings

New beginnings in 2012 have already begun here on theblog. I sincerely hope that you have decided to stay with us to watch howthings unfold. As mentioned in my post on December 12^th Laughter as Medicine there are going to be changes made to the blog.

One very important change that everyone will want tonote is the fact that this particular blog will not only be directed toward caregiversof family members with mental illness, but will also be for caregivers thatface other challenges. In today’ssociety where we are living longer, choosing to have children at later ages andsituations like these many different challenges are faced. This year we will befocusing not only on specific caregivers, but caregivers as a whole.

A new beginning is also going to bring about differentways of coping with stress, anxiety, physical health and mental wellness toname a few. There will more posts directed toward how to stay mentally andphysically healthy while striving to lower stress and anxiety in our lives.

This blog will not only be a venue for caregivers, butalso for anyone looking for different ways to cope with their own anxieties andlives in 2012.

Each time you visit I hope you find something new that inspiresyou, helps you, encourages and supports you through your day.

I, myself, look forward to these changes and hope youdo as well. So keep coming back to see how it progresses and feel free to leaveyour comments in the box or e-mail subjects you would like to see featured.

May you all have a healthy and joyous day!

Positive Poem

2012-01-09T18:23:00.000-05:00

Laughing Song

When the green woods laugh with the voice of joy,
And the dimpling stream runs laughing by;
When the air does laugh with our merry wit,
And the green hill laughs with the noise of it;

When the meadows laugh with lively green,
And the grasshopper laughs in the merry scene,
When Mary and Susan and Emily
With their sweet round mouths sing "Ha, ha he!"

When the painted birds laugh in the shade,
Where our table with cherries and nuts is spread:
Come live, and be merry, and join with me,
To sing the sweet chorus of "Ha, ha, he!"

--William Blake

Mental Wellness - Exploring Essential Oils

2012-01-04T13:40:00.000-05:00

MentalWellness – Exploring Essential Oils

Mental wellness and healthy living can be the useof combining a number of different tools thatwe find work really well for us. Aromatherapy defined by the World EnglishDictionary - n. the use of fragrant essential oils extracted from plants as atreatment in complementary medicine to relieve tension and cure certain minorailments. As we all know, what works for one person may not work foranother. Keeping that in mind, today we are going to do some exploring into thebenefits that can be derived by using aromatherapy.

Alittle history – It is believed that in 1937Rene-Maurice Gattefosse of French decent invented the word aromatherapy. DuringWWII it is also said that surgeon Jean Valnet used essential oils to help healsoldiers’ wounds. Because of these experiences many individuals believe thatthe medical benefits of aromatherapy were proven as healing agents to the body.There however still remains debate surrounding the earlier history of howessential oils were originated. The Egyptians were known for one of the first distillation machines used to extract oils from certain plants; which in turnwas utilized during the embalming process. China roots are credited for usingaromatherapy for mood enhancers. Again, because of different debates someindividuals believe that the Greeks had their own role in the development ofusing essential oils as fragrances and for various healing properties.

Presentday– Aromatherapy is referred to by many as a holistic medicinal practice. It isalso used in different cultures around the world still for promoting healingand mental wellness. Personally, I find the use of aromatherapy to be veryrelaxing, calming, and not to mention cheap and easy!

Howto use:

Baths– A simple way to use essential oils and gain great benefit is from addingsimply a few drops to a nice relaxing bath. Add the drops to the bath water asyou are running it and blend it with the water before getting in.
VaporInhalation – You may choose a diffuser or simply add a fewdrops of the essential oil of your choice to a boiling pot of water on thestove. Both will fill the room with the aromatic presence you are looking forand give you the aromatherapy for your short break. *Be sure to make certainthat you keep an eye on both ways you choose so that you stay safe.* I find thatusing a small crock pot is a safe alternative and it provides the same results.
Lotions/Creams– You can purchase unscented lotions or creams of your choice and add a fewdrops, mixing well and use on your hands or as a body cream to carry your scenton you if you prefer.
Green– If you have or are planning to go green with making your own cleaning productsyou can also add a few drops of essential oils during the mixing process andthe aroma will fill the house as you clean. I personally like adding a fewdrops of lemongrass to my homemade shaker containing baking soda to freshen mycarpets.

There are many different ways to applyaromatherapy to your daily routine to provide the relaxing effects ofaromatherapy. Don’t be afraid to experiment and research different oils to findwhat works great for you.

Aromatherapy– Essential Oils

Jasmine–Often used to accompany other medicinal therapies to help with depression. Thestrong but sweet fragrance supplies a pleasing and uplifting effect on the mindthat many believe helps to fight depression.
Lavender,Chamomile, Lemon, Vanilla and more – These aromas usedfor aromatherapy are generally used for stress relief. Many of us could use alittle bit and sometimes a lot of stress relief in our day!
Rosemary, Grapefruit, Clary Sage, Ginger and more –These are just a few that help to reduce that feeling of fatigue.
Cypress, Jasmine, Bergamont and more – Need a selfesteem boost? Then you might want to try this in your aromatherapy routine.

There are many different essential oils, and Iwould strongly encourage you to research them and the benefits that each ofthem carry before making your choice.

Along with your Worry Free 10-Minute Break during the day youcan easily add aromatherapy to help you relax or give you a nice pick-me-up!

If you decide to try aromatherapy I hope you findit useful and enjoyable. The least you will come away with is a beautifulsmelling you and home!

Happy New Year from Shalott's Blog

2011-12-31T21:29:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year from Shalott’s blog!

As you make your New Year’s Resolutions be sure to keep inmind that which you are already committed to doing so you do not overwhelmyourself. A key factor in setting goals for ourselves any time of the year isto make certain that we are not setting ourselves up for failure. Makereasonable and attainable goals even if you have to make smaller goals to startout with. This type of goal setting improves our positive thinking and feelingtoward ourselves and we are more apt to stay on track for the goals to followor larger ones we choose to set next.

With that said, I hope that you all have a very happy andsafe New Year’s Eve!

Mental Health Plus Physical Wellness

2011-12-31T21:20:00.000-05:00

Mental health plus physical wellness can play an integral part on the balance of our psyche. As we all know when our bodies are in an unhealthy condition it has a direct connection on mental faculties. This can include chronic pain disorder and diseases, uncontrolled cholesterol, blood pressure and diabetes to name a few. It is as simple as the concept of understanding how being extremely overwhelmed and stressed out causes us anxiety and/or depression. When our bodies are run down or not in top functioning order the impact can show up in the brain through depression, anxiety or aggravate an already diagnosed mental illness.

Personally, I think it is a great idea to evaluate our physical routines periodically, especially when we start to note an increase of unbalance in our lives.

Some things to consider:

Do you follow an exercise routine weekly?
Are you eating as healthy as possible?
Are you getting your required amount of sleep?
Are you drinking the recommended daily amount of water your body needs?
Are you making and keeping your doctor's appointment?
Are you taking your prescribed medicines?
Are you following your doctor's instructions regarding your health, mental health and prescriptions?

These are all things that we should be doing. If you haven't had a regular check-up or are not current with your doctor's appointments I encourage you to make your appointment and keep it.

*As with anything always check with your doctor before trying anything new.*

Now, why did I bring this up at the end of the year? This is a good time to reevaluate your physical and mental well-being before the new year begins.

Mental Health Plus Spirituality

2011-12-29T19:30:00.000-05:00

Mental health plus spirituality can for some be a taboo or touchy subject, therefore, we will be treading lightly in this short blog post.

It isn't an exact science that has been studied by many, charted and proven, however, many subscribed to the theory that good mental health includes spirituality. Many individuals find that spirituality/religion causes a positive impact on their mental health. Different feelings such as comfort, hope and peace can be found when people have developed a core belief system.

A few questions that you might want to consider when thinking about your own mental health combined with spirituality if you haven't decided yet are listed here:

Do you know of a belief system that interests you?
If not do you think it would aid or detract from your life?
If you believe it would detract - Have you discovered the core reason of this belief?
Is that specific reason strong enough to keep you from trying?

If you already subscribe to a spiritual path do you plan on making any improvements to this path in the upcoming year or are you satisfied with where you are?

Where ever you may be in your own mental health and spiritual path may it bring you comfort, joy and most certainly hope in the new year!

Mental Health Foot Forward

2011-12-28T15:05:00.002-05:00

Mental health foot forward – in short it is akinto putting your best foot forward. As we are moving faster toward the new yearit is a great idea to take a personal inventory of where you are mentally. Ifyou live with mental illness yourself or take care of someone that is mentallyill you tend to find that even on the best of days there can be still bestress. How we react to stress and the tools we use to decrease our stresslevels can be a key to healthier living. We all know what stress does to ourheart, and other facets of our bodies – mind, body and soul.

How do you plan to handle your stress this newyear? By putting your best mental health foot forward start a plan of action toeither decrease immediate stressors or a plan to readily use when feeling stressed.

A few stress reducing tips:

Plan a 10 minute break for yourself everyday
Practice deep breathing exercises
Start a new journal for the new year. Keep itsmall so you can carry it with you.
Take a brisk walk to clear your mind
Try using aromatherapy either around you in yourhome or a little bottle to keep with you of your favorite calming scent

There are a plethora of things to choose from, andthe idea is to find the thing or things that help you. What works for oneperson won’t necessarily work for another. Don’t be afraid to experiment withnew ideas you come across. We can all be pleasantly surprised by what our mindand body find comforting.

Here are a few links for you as well:

Worry Free 10 minute break

Breathing Exercises

An Apple a Day!

2011-12-27T13:38:00.001-05:00

Mental health derives positivism from a lot of what we think and how much we believe in ourselves. Promoting positive thinking skills can help us in many different ways such as:

Allow us to find a new perspective on a negative occurrence or thought
Give us a tool to use when we are feeling down, stressed or exhausted
Help us keep ourselves on track with a positive thought that brings us closer to what we want

There are numerous other healthy qualities for being positive. For some of us and sometimes all of us at times, it is not the easiest thing we have ever attempted. Using daily positive affirmations regarding our own unique circumstance can help us in this area.

Most of us have heard the phrase, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." When a version of this maxim was first published in 1866 people were not thinking of the concrete evidence and healthiness of apples. Many individuals today still use this phrase as a positive thinking process.

Today I leave you with this positive affirmation - I am sure of my ability to do what is necessary to improve my life!

I encourage each of you that reads this to develop your very own specialized positive affirmation today that fits you and your current circumstance. The more that we personalize our positive affirmations and repeat them throughout the day the more benefit we derive from them.

Here are two links to previous articles in case you missed them that you may find of use in helping to form your own positive affirmations!

Positive Affirmations

Positive Quotes for Hard Times

Laughter as Medicine

2011-12-26T16:09:00.000-05:00

As we prepare to enter into a new year I dearly hope that you will stay with the blog. There are big changes planned for this blog in 2012, and I sincerely hope to bring you all with me for the ride!

Until then - there is going to be some more planning, outlining, and reconstructing going on so the following posts will be shorter until then.

So here I leave you today with a quote I find most refreshing this time of year!

"It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor." -Charles Dickens

The Beginning of a blog...

2011-12-08T17:22:00.000-05:00

Find the Light
Online Support Group

This blog was originally created for Find the Light Online Support Group. It will continue as time permits to hopefully benefit the site as I am able to blog.

I would be remiss if I did not share this blogs humble beginnings with my readers. It was a simple seed, thought, wisp of an idea. Together with lots of chatting with Tristine Barry (Owner of FTL) the seed grew into the tree you see on the top of my blog. I owe many thanks to her for giving undying motivation, support, and even a swift little kick when I needed a jump start. Many thanks to you, Tristine!

With that said, below I share with you from Find the Light what they have to offer for parents/caregivers/loved ones of those diagnosed with a mental illness. I hope you enjoy the read and stop by the site for more information.

Are you the parent or caregiver of someone diagnosed with a mental illness and find yourself in need of support? If so, we want to extend a warm welcome to you. Find the Light Online Support Group, designed and launched in 2003 by Founder, Tristine Barry, MS, CTT+, is designed to offer peer-to-peer support for various mental health issues, most particular mood disorders such as bipolar and depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. As of late, it has come to our attention that there are millions of individuals like you that could use their own support, as being a caregiver brings on its own personal challenges.

When daily struggles are weighing down on you as a parent or caregiver we encourage you to reach out for support within our members’ only group that consists of private and moderated forums. There are others that are suffering-adults, from anxiety and mood disorders If you don't mind mingling and learning, they don't mind either.

NEW!! LShalott's Spot for Caregivers Tips (Blog)

LShalott is the Senior Director for Find the Light Online Support Group but is also a parent with children that suffer from mental illness. She has a wealth of information to share with you in hopes of helping you to make life a little more manageable and enjoyable. It was her idea to add this Caregiver page. She has created a new blog onBlogger that you can view and subscribe to if you so choose. She can also be reached by email.

Each Day A Challenge
As a caregiver or parent, we face many difficulties in the day to day world when raising, loving, and living with someone with mental illness. Caring for them, making time for you, doctors appointments, medication compliance, behavioral issues-just to name a few-can make the day feel daunting. Many times we may get lost in the day to day race to keep up. Because of this, depression, anxiety and increased stress levels are quite common for the caregiver. With support and encouragement from other members you can begin to feel understood, realize you are not alone, and find a boost with the peer-to-peer support that typically wouldn’t be available. There is nothing more valuable to us than being able to come together with others that understand our plights as caregivers. Many FTL members have been helped tremendously over the years by simply coming and logging in.

If you are a caregiver or parent in need of relief by talking with others, please, come join your peers in our online support group. Feel free also to look through the accompanying pages if you are in need of education and information on these childhood disorders. It is our mission to not only offer this peer support but arm you with as much educational ammunition possible so you can do the best you can in helping your child and yourself. You are your loved one's best advocate! Come Find the Light with us.

As a caregiver of one with mental illness, support from others can truly make a difference in your life. If you want to give the group a try click here to read the agreement (sorry about the length-always necessary though) and sign up. All you need is a valid email, a username and password. The beauty of the group is you can use any name you want. Some reveal their names in usernames but most don't. It is your choice. There is a screening process and a low monthly fee involved. However, there is a no-obligation free 30 day trial offered. If you don’t want to return you simply don’t have to. If you find you do like it then you will be asked for payment information after 30 days.

Last update November 2, 2011

"When you are in your darkest hour, remember, you can always find the light..."

TB, Author, Director, Find the Light Online Support Group.

Poetry for the Soul

2011-12-08T10:51:00.001-05:00

IF-

By: RudyardKipling

If you can keep your head when all about you

Arelosing theirs and blaming it on you,

If youcan trust yourself when all men doubt you,

Butmake allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Orbeing lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

Andyet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream-and not make dreams your master;

Ifyou can think-and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

Andtreat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twistedby knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life, broke,

Andstoop and build’em up with worn-out tool:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

Andrisk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

Andnever breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

Toserve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Exceptthe Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Orwalk with Kings-nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

Ifall men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

Withsixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And-whichis more-you’ll be a Man, my son!

1865 - 1936

Routine I

2011-03-02T16:55:00.000-05:00

Routine

Part I

Serious question – How many of you read the title and had an immediate negative reaction or emotion?

If you answered yes to this question I want you to know that you are not alone! Many times when people hear the word routine or schedule it brings up different thoughts from the workplace to class schedules that they were put through in school or lived through in college. This is the main reason I chose this topic. What we need is a positive perspective on the word and if not the word on what the word implies.

Typed out below you will find the first two out of eight definitions of routine in the noun form, and one as an adjective.

Rou-tine [roo-teen] – noun:

A customary or regular course of procedure.
Commonplace tasks, chores, or duties as must be done regularly or at specified intervals; typically or everyday activity: the routine of an office.

Rou-tine [roo-teen] – adjective:

Dull or uninteresting; commonplace.

For those who feel overwhelmed or shudder at these thoughts please don’t stop reading it does get better.

When we think of these words as parents we are more apt to think of work or school first, but how many have thought about home life in this perspective? This is the part where the positives start coming in and negatives go out the window. There are differing opinions on whether this type of home life “works” or not. I will be writing of course from my own experience, trials and errors.

As babies our children thrive in a routine. All of you parents that have lost sleep because of the two A.M. feedings and then again at four A.M. know exactly what I am talking about. A lot of babies if given the opportunity will settle down nicely into a routine that works for feeding, changing diapers and play time. It has been my experience when my children were little that they were happier than and not as fussy as other babies that I knew that was not on a regular schedule. Now, let us jump ahead into the toddler years...

Toddlers are generally rambunctious, full of unlimited energy, into everything that they can find and get their little hands on. How many parents if you were a stay at home parent made sure your little one still had a nap, ate their meals around the same time every day, and had a play-time with mommy or daddy set up or play dates with other children? How many parents who had to work noticed that daycares were set up on schedules? I know as diligent parents that had to use the daycare system must have been like myself and looked into them thoroughly to see how things were managed. At anytime did you notice if your child/children acted differently if their schedules were changed?

There was a period in my life that my work schedule was hectic to the point that my children didn’t know if they were coming or going, much less myself. That would be when I realized how much my schedule was causing chaos in their little lives. I used that period in my life as a learning tool that was able to bring about more peace than I thought imaginable.

As parents we know the major things our child/children need from us such as love, food, shelter, and our protection. Time tables (schedules), discipline, and things of this nature provide structure, and in this case instead of using routine/schedule/limits/ and words in this category, we can replace them with the one simple word “structure”. We know that with structure we can organize all different types of parts into a systematic and workable solution within the home that can ease a child’s/children’s anxiety.

A big issue for children, adolescents, and even teenagers is the question of “When will I be able to (insert what they want)? Although this suggestion of structure will not ease all tensions and be the all knowing answer for ever question or trial that may arise, it can most certainly work for a number of issues throughout the years. For example: If our children know they have to get up for school at seven AM, and be at the bus stop by seven forty-five AM they should have a structured morning already in place – Wake up, make the bed, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush their teeth, grab their books and head out the door their morning has started out right. I’m not going to tell you that is going to be perfect simply because I am raising five children, four that are school aged and they all have different rhythms that they function in during the morning hours. Before they structured their mornings however I can attest to the chaos that ran through the house and woke the baby every school day.

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I do believe this is enough to digest for one sitting and will continue this subject in Part II (coming soon). In Part II I will discuss different scenarios of how to use this simple task to ease some of our frustrations as parents and caregivers not only in children, young adults, but also in other aspects of caring for family members that may reside with us.

“Family life is too intimate to be preserved by the spirit of justice. It can be sustained by a spirit of love which goes beyond justice.”

-Reinhold Niebuhr

Resurrection of the Blogging

2011-01-20T22:06:00.000-05:00

And...I'm back!

I would like to apologize for not keeping this blog up, however, as we all know that life happens, and it happened to me a little too hard. For more months than I care to remember I have been fighting my own battle with cancer so that I can still be here today for my family, and to continue to support and offer encouragement to my readers.

With that said, I am looking forward to getting back to this blog, and have in my healing process been brainstorming different topics to be covered for the upcoming weeks and months. It will be starting out slow, so I do ask that you bare with me.

I'm looking forward to a great year ahead, be sure to visit back soon for new articles!

"Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the life boats."
Voltaire

Visualization for Relaxation

2010-02-03T17:55:00.001-05:00

Exactly what is visualization? It is sometimes also called the imagery technique, and it is a way for us to take a visual image in our mind and use it to help us release the anxiety building within us along with the tension in the muscles that accompanies anxiety. It has been in use since ancient civilizations by different cultures and even found in integral parts of some religions. Here we are going to discuss the basic use of visualization to help relieve our stresses/anxiety.

To start with begin by sitting in a comfortable place with comfortable clothing, and begin the breathing exercises that were outlined in the previous post. Begin relaxing all the muscles in your body starting with your toes, and move up through each body part and muscle until you are relaxing you head, neck and arms, continuing with your breathing.

Then move on to these steps:

v Think of your favorite place, a safe and inviting place that relaxes you. *see list below of possible options
v Continue your breathing, close your eyes, and start to create the picture within your mind. Don’t stop at just painting the picture. Allow yourself to use all of your senses.
v Sight – Your painted picture
v Touch - Imagine how the textures around you feel on your skin. (For example: If you have painted your beach scene in your mind, imagine how the sand feels between your toes.)
v Smell - Imagine the smells that would be surrounding you. (For example: If you have painted a secret garden scene, imagine the smells that come from the flowers like roses, lilies, etc.)
v Hearing - Imagine the sounds that you would be hearing. (For example: Are the waves crashing against the shore or the seagulls swooping and flying overhead? Listen to waves and the swoosh of the wings of the seagulls.)
v Taste - Imagine what you would taste if anything. (Maybe the saltwater on your lips or the sweet taste of honeysuckles in a garden.)

Feel free to stay in this safe place that you have created within your mind until you have completely relaxed and your anxiety as dissolved. If you like stay a few minutes longer. The timing is completely up to you.

“Perseverance is not a long race; but many short races one after the other.” ~Walter Elliot

Now, one thing I do want everyone to understand is that this is not a simple exercise for everyone to grasp the first time that they try it. It is however well worth the effort and time that you can devote to practicing it until you are able to go straight to your safe place. It can be hard to imagine how this technique works by just reading about it if you never try it. I encourage everyone to take time out of their day to have a little daydream because that is exactly what this is; a daydream.

*Sometimes it may be difficult when first starting out to think of a place we would really like to be. Here I’ve listed some possible options that you might like to choose from to start your imagery relaxation:

v On a sunny beach
v Sitting by a small creek
v Walking through a garden
v By a waterfall
v In your quiet room
v On a mossy path in the forest
v On a hiking trail in the mountains
v Playing with your pets
v In a kitchen enjoying the sweet or favorite aromas
v On a riverbank with a fishing pole

I I hope these ideas will help give you a start. One of the keys to learning this method is perseverance.

“Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.” ~Earl Nightingale

LShalott

Senior Director

Find the Light Online Support Group

Breathing Exercises

2010-01-27T17:46:00.000-05:00

How many of us out there have found ourselves in sticky situations with anxiety? It can be hard to cope when we are in a grocery store or other public places where we want to remain as calm as possible. Did you know that there is a simple technique to our breathing that can calm us quickly and calmly? Below you will find it outlined for you so that if you wish to give it a try you may.

Personally, I use this type of breathing exercises as soon as I hit a moment that anxiety attacks. As with a lot of things this may not be for you, and that is okay. We all have different tools that we use or can learn to use that help us through.

We can learn to breathe in a way that is calm and relaxing. Most professionals refer to this type of breathing as diaphragmatic breathing; which simply means that we are breathing from our diaphragm, or abdomen, instead of from the chest cavity. This type of breathing can be beneficial in slowing down our bodies response when anxiety or nervousness begins to build. It is necessary to learn to pay attention to your breathing patterns in order to receive maximum benefit.

Once you have become familiar with the technique you should be able to do this exercise while sitting or lying down. For beginners I would suggest some loose clothing and start by lying down on your couch, floor, or bed.

*The goal is to maintain slow, smooth breathing, with long inhalations and even longer exhalations.*

Begin by lying down

Get in a comfortable and relaxed position taking a few seconds to slow down your breathing

Expand your abdomen as you inhale and collapse it as you exhale (try to minimize your upper chest movement). For practicing you may want to put a book on your abdomen so that you can practice making it rise and fall with your breathing or put your left hand on your upper chest and your right hand on your abdomen. Your left hand should be still, while your right hand should be moving up and down.

Once you have the hang of it, continue to breathe slowly and smoothly, making your exhale more prolonged than your inhale. When you exhale, you don’t need to force out the last drops of air. Allow the breathing to be easy, smooth and as effortless as possible.

Once you are confident, you can try the same while standing or sitting up.

This type of breathing does require some very conscious effort at first, but once mastered this can be done anytime and anywhere to help with anxiety.

Caregivers - Anxiety and Stress

2009-11-19T19:37:00.000-05:00

As the day eats away the hours with all the tasks involved in taking care of our loved one(s) there may arise times where anxiety rears its ugly head. I believe we have all encountered times in our lives where we have experienced being overwhelmed. An example we all may be able to relate with is having the phone ring off the hook, someone knocking on the door, the dog barking, and someone yelling for attention at the same time!

There may also be other reasons that we experience anxieties in our lives as we care for our loved ones. There are many examples that include, but not limited to, the aforementioned example, over scheduling problems, doctor appointments, unproductive conversations, and a lack of support to name a few.

Whether or not we realize it at the exact moment of occurrence our body is undergoing an indefinite amount of stress that can tighten our muscles, shorten our breathing, scatter our brain in different directions and the results will be made clear to us consciously either sooner or later.

Some examples of what stress can do to the body and mind are listed here:

Memory problems
Inability to concentrate
Worrying
Aches and pains
Digestive problems
Eating more or less
Sleeping more or less
Developing nervous habits
Accelerated heart rate
Difficulty breathing

This is definitely not a comprehensive overview of all the symptoms that are involved, but hopefully it will provide a small idea of what our minds and bodies are going through when we endure long-term and sometimes even short-term stress/anxiety.

Here are some good questions to ask yourself being sure to be candid with your answers!

Am I in control of stress or is stress controlling me?

When I feel agitated, do I know how to quickly calm and soothe myself?
Can I easily let go of my anger?
Can I turn to others at work to help me calm down and feel better?
When I come home at night, do I walk in the door feeling alert and relaxed?
Am I seldom distracted or moody?
Am I able to recognize upsets that others seem to be experiencing?
Do I easily turn to friends or family members for a calming influence?
When my energy is low, do I know how to boost it?

Source: The Language of Emotional Intelligence

One of the main reasons for this article is to bring about a conscious awareness to caregivers regarding the prevalence of anxiety in our lives along with the seriousness of letting it go unrecognized and/or untreated. Stress left untreated can leave us impaired possibly to the point we do not feel capable of taking care of our loved ones anymore.

Please continue to follow the blog as next I will be covering some things that we can do some in a matter of just minutes to help relieve our stress and anxieties.

Until next time...

Caregivers - Know Your Worth

2009-11-17T18:06:00.002-05:00

Care giving can sometimes be one of those thankless jobs that we take upon ourselves, out of love or the responsibility is thrust upon us by a number of situations that may arise in life. However good your intentions are, however many hours you put in during one day, however many fires you had to put dealing with different crises - not everyone has the chance to see all your hard work and accomplishments that fall into the category of your everyday life.

I’ve previously talked about taking that “Worry Free 10 Minute Break”, however, a large majority wrestle with feelings of guilt for even taking time to care for themselves much less taking 10 minutes of leisure. I sincerely want you each to know that you deserve it and should not feel guilty. You have to take of you so that you can fit emotionally, mentally and psychologically to cope with the unique challenges you face.

With that in mind – Here is an exercise that I hope will help you to understand your value, your worth, and ultimately be able to validate yourself to see how much you as an individual really contribute.

EXERCISE:

Write a Classified Ad for your job as a caregiver as it applies to your situation. List all your responsibilities, hours involved, benefits received or not received, and your pay.

EXAMPLE:

Now Accepting Applications for a Caregiver!

Applicatants are invited to apply for the position of caregiver and manager to 2 mentally challenged individuals.

The successful applicant will be required to carry out the following functions - attendant, counselor, financial supervisor, buying administrator, chef, nutritionist, nurse, cleaner, escort, supervisor, and activity officer. Applicants must have unlimited energy and strong sense of responsibility. They must be independent, self-motivated, and able to work in isolation without supervision, under stress, and adaptable enough to handle new developments, including emergencies and crises. They must have excellent communication skills so that they are able to communicate with teachers, psychiatrists, psychologists, general practitioners, nurses, and other relevant professionals involved in the individuals care. Applicants must possess sensitivity, warmth, and understanding while keeping structure and scheduling on time – no exceptions.

Hours – All waking moments and a 24-hour shift when necessary.

Benefits – No guaranteed holidays, no sick leave or maternity leave. No workers’ compensation.

Pay – None. Successful applicant may be allowed/required to hold second job in addition to the one advertised here.

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Does your ad help you realize your value and abilities?

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As we grow out of childhood and enter adulthood validation becomes harder to come by especially if we do not have a solid network of support to help us out by encouraging and supporting us and our efforts to achieve the best that we can as caregivers. Just because it is harder to come by does not mean that we do not need it anymore in order to function and feel valued. There will be times in life when self-validation is much needed to keep feeling positive, to keep moving forward, to make progress in the lives we care for and ourselves.

Know that you possess abilities unique to your situation and your value is honestly immeasurable on a physical pay scale simply because of the heart that you put behind your work and the love and dedication that exudes from you as a person as you care for your loved one. You are valued and worthy!

“Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.” ~Voltaire~

Positive Quotes for Hard Times

2009-11-13T15:55:00.000-05:00

Just as positive affirmations can help us through the hard times, a good quote remember can as well! Here are some that I have found helpful through the years.

Enjoy!

He who has hope has everything.
--Arabian Proverb

Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul.
--Emily Dickenson

Defeat is not defeat unless accepted as a reality-in your own mind.
- Bruce Lee

To reach a port we must sail, sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it. But we must not drift or lie at anchor.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never, never, never give up.
- Winston Churchill

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.
- Confucius

Anything that we have to learn we learn by the actual doing of it ... we become just by performing just acts, temperate by performing temperate ones, brave by performing brave ones.
--Aristotle, Ethics

I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.
- Thomas A. Edison

All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Your thoughts are the architects of your destiny.
- David O. McKay

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.
- Carl Jung

Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own mind.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

It is not the critic who counts,
nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbled,
or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly;
who errs and comes short again and again;
who knows great enthusiasms, great devotions;
who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly,
so that his place shall never be with those timid souls
who know neither victory nor defeat.
- Theodore Roosevelt

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do in our own?
- Brigham Young

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don't see the one that has opened for us.
- Alexander Graham Bell

Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength.
- St. Francis De Sales

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
- Ambrose Redmoon

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
- Leo Buscaglia

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.
- George Washington Carver

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.
- Storm Jameson

The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.
- Helen Keller

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
- Dr. Dale Turner

Caregivers - Worry Free 10 Minute Break

2009-11-09T08:23:00.001-05:00

How to get that 10 minute break!

First, I’m going to talk about the idea, and then we will cover what to do if that isn’t feasible or if you are in crisis mode.

Ideally, everyone should have a place in their home that they can call a retreat, a sanctum sanctorum if you will. This area should be clean, a nice soothing color, not cluttered, yet filled with things that comfort you. A nice big comfy chair with an ottoman and blanket to sit and relax on never hurts! If you already have a place like this or are able to create one at no cost to you then go for it because it is well worth the effort. You may have a large room where you can put up a partition that will enclose your area. If so then do that and decorate your area to be calming for you.

Now, we have the spot for the 10 minute break so let’s talk a little about how to get that break you need. There are times in the day when you can sneak a break in. Now, in the beginning this may be tricky, especially if you are not used to remembering to care for yourself as you care for your loved one. Finding the time to do this is typically the number 1 complaint people have.

In the beginning you will have to make time, and I do want to impress upon you the word make because individuals when caring for someone tend to lose themselves in that care for their loved one after a time. It is essential to your good mental and physical health to make the effort to find that 10 minutes to regain composure, relax your muscles, and your brain. There really is no way around the time constraint other than making time for you. There are of course the usual excuses that come along such as "I don’t have the time.", "I’m always busy.", "My schedule is very hectic.", and "I would feel selfish if I did." While these excuses to anyone would sound reasonable, and I have used them myself, they are not valid reasons to dismiss 10 minutes of the day just for you. You deserve it and everyone including yourself will be happy that you took your break.

While in your comfort zone for that 10 minutes do what you want to do. If you want kick your feet up and do some deep breathing exercises, do quick puzzles to help keep you sharp, close your eyes and imagine you are in a favorite place you love to visit, finish a chapter in a book you are reading. The main point is to do something that is comforting and relaxing to you so that you can get up feeling re-energized!

In times of crisis we do not always have the luxury of settling down in our favorite chair to do something relaxing for ourselves, however, you must not forget that during this crucial time you still need your break. Times may vary on when you can take your break and how long it will be for. When you are in crisis mode your time and its limits will have to be determined by you. If you can get a full 10 minutes in that is great and if not then use what time you can wisely.

Typically the best place for this type of break is going to be outside (if conditions allow) or in the bathroom. Outside you take a brisk walk to clear your thoughts, find a bench to sit, relax, and do your deep breathing exercises. You can also look at nature and her beauty. When it comes to a bathroom - never under estimate the uses of a bathroom! In the bathroom you can wash your face or splash cold water on your face to help regain composer, do some breathing exercises, and if you carry or have calming scents with you like lavender, rose, or a scent that you find calming then use that. These breaks typically won’t last your full 10 minutes, but even just a few minutes alone with yourself can do wonders to help you gain composure again and get you ready to face what you are having to deal with at the time.

Just to recap –

Use your 10 minutes or in crisis mode use what you have.

Take advantage of your comfort zone or in crisis mode a bathroom.

Things you can do in just a few minutes to relax your mind from your current stresses are:

Read some in a book.

Use aromatherapy.

Do a puzzle (Sudoku, crosswords, etc.)

Journal.

Do breathing exercises.

Relax your muscles one by one from your toes to your upper body.

Close your eyes and imagine your favorite place. (i.e. sandy beach, mountains in the fall, a special place you have visited)

Bottom line, do something that helps you to relax! Your body and mind will thank you. Always remember that you deserve it, you need it, and you can do it for yourself. You are appreciated with what you do, but may not be in a place where you are able to feel that appreciation from the one you are caring for, however, never under estimate the power of your love, attention and care. With that said don’t forget to give yourself that same love and attention!

“This art of resting the mind and the power of dismissing from it all care and worry is probably one of the secrets of energy in our great men.” Captain J.A. Hadfield

Caregivers - Why They Need Support

2009-10-29T17:29:00.001-04:00

About 44 million Americans provide 37 billion hours of unpaid, "informal" care each year for adult family members and friends with chronic illnesses or conditions that prevent them from handling daily activities such as bathing, managing medications or preparing meals on their own. Family caregivers, particularly women, provide over 75% of caregiving support in the United States. In 2007, the estimated economic value of family caregivers' unpaid contributions was at least $375 billion, which is how much it would cost to replace that care with paid services.1

Family Caregiver Alliance

Being a caregiver (trained or untrained) is challenging and draining as you face the day to day schedules and different crises that may arise. The majority of caregivers for the mentally ill are generally thrust into the position not having the advantage of being educated or qualified on the illness that was just diagnosed. As you are ushered into this surprised role, you find typically many emotional hardships, physical demands; which can create an extremely painful and difficult time in your life. High caregiver burden can create long-term stress. Ongoing stresses can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, physical problems and burnout.

Caregivers of a mentally ill family member, friend or loved one face the majority of challenges that other caregivers face that take care of the chronically ill or those with physical limitations or permanent ones. There are, however, additional stresses to the caregivers of individuals with mental diagnoses. There are feelings associated with it such as shame and guilt over what the diagnosis is and also fear and worry of what the diagnosis may mean for future plans.

Because of the aforementioned, caregivers need to pay strict attention to themselves. This is where support comes into play. Consider joining a support group dedicated to caregivers. Everyone at some point or other will need the opportunity to have a melt-down or to complain somewhere outside and away from the individual they are caring for. A support group whether face to face or online can provide that outlet along with the reassurances that you are not alone.

Having a support network of friends, family members, neighbors or church members that you can rely on to talk with, go out and grab a coffee with will help provide you with the needed time apart from your situation, giving you some quality time of your own.

The next installment will be on relaxation and how to have a worry free 10 minute break to regain your composure and relax before starting again.

Remember that while you are taking care of someone that you love you must take care of yourself mentally, physically and emotionally so that you can be healthy and happy through the good times and not so good times.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

To find a face to face support group in your area you can visit NAMI.

A great online support group is Find the Light.

References

1 National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP (2008). Caregiving in the U.S. Bethesda, MD and Washington, DC; AARP Public Policy Institute (2008), Valuing the Invaluable: The Economic Value of Family Caregiving, 2008 Update; Family Caregiver Alliance (2004, June). Family Caregiving and Long-Term Care: A Crucial Issue for America's Families (Policy Brief). San Francisco, CA.

Positive Affirmations

2009-10-27T10:01:00.000-04:00

We all need positive reminders during our day, and as we grow older they can be quite hard to find when we are struggling with situations that are rather stressful. Also, as adults it can be harder for us to find that "pat on the back". We need to be able to give ourselves encouraging words when they are needed.This can take a lot of conscious practice, but it truly can work wonders to bring us out of negativity and into a better place emotionally and psychologically.

Affirmations are positive sentences that describe a desired situation, and which are repeated many times, in order to impress the subconscious mind and trigger it into positive action. In order to ensure the effectiveness of the affirmations, they have to be repeated with attention, conviction, interest and desire. (Affirmations help us to hold our attention on the idea or thing that we want to manifest.)

Here are a list of examples:

• I can be a winner.
• I am the best friend I have.
• I have solved problems like this before.
• I have the ability to handle this.
• I am a capable human being.
• I deserve to love and to be loved.
• I am a skillful and artistic person.
• I can show others a good example.
• Letting go is best for them and for me.
• They will thank me in the future.
• Nothing is worth losing my sanity over.
• I am responsible only for my own feelings.
• I owe no one explanations for my behavior, which is legally, morally, and ethically correct.
• I deserve to have my rights recognized.
• I am a deserving human being.
• I deserve to enjoy the fruits of my labor.
• I deserve to be rewarded for what I do.
• I love myself for who I am.
• It is OK to be selfish if I don't hurt anyone.
• I like the way I handle problems.
• I am able to handle any problem I face.
• I have the right to feel the way I do.
• My children will benefit from my healthy changes.
• My children will survive my healthy changes.
• My family will benefit from my relaxing more.
• I deserve to relax more and take it easy.
• There are beautiful things happening in my life daily.
• I experience the excitement of growth daily.
• Change is a blessing I am working toward.
• Taking risks is the path to growth.
• I grow in love daily.
• I face each new day as a race to be won.
• I am winning in the race of life.
• I am a rich treasure ready to be found.
• Let others know who I am.
• Say hello to a new person today.
• Open up to be loved today.
• Be responsible. Relax!
• Letting go is loving
• Be free of guilt today.
• To be loved I must love.
• God does not make junk.
• There are opportunities in life to be tried.
• My possibilities are endless.
• Success is to be enjoyed.
• Open myself up with one new person today.
• Belief in self is a step toward personal growth.
• I can handle all changes that come my way.
• There is nothing I cannot handle.
• Smile and let others in on the secret.
• I deserve to be happy and successful
• I have the power to change myself
• I can forgive and understand others and their motives
• I can make my own choices and decisions
• I am free to choose to live as I wish and to give priority to my desires
• I can choose happiness whenever I wish no matter what my circumstances
• I am flexible and open to change in every aspect of my life
• I act with confidence having a general plan and accept plans are open to alteration
• It is enough to have done my best
• I deserve to be loved

Other good ones include:

- I am healthy and happy.

- Wealth is pouring into my life.

- I am flowing on the river of wealth.

- I am getting wealthier each day.

- My body is healthy and functioning in a very good way.

- I have a lot of energy.

- I study and comprehend fast.

- I am getting A's in my exams.

- My mind is calm.

- I am calm and relaxed in every situation.

- My thoughts are under my control.

- I radiate love and happiness.

- I am surrounded by love.

- I have the perfect job for me.

- I am living in the house of my dreams.

- I have good and loving relations with my wife/husband.

- I have a wonderful satisfying job.

- I have the means to travel abroad whenever I want to.

- I am successful in whatever I do.

- Everything is getting better every day.

Caregivers Taking Care of Themselves

2009-10-26T20:10:00.005-04:00

Are you an individual taking care of someone with a mental illness? If so then this article is for you. In this first article we will only be touching on the needs the caregiver has as an individual. Later articles will go more in-depth on certain subjects that are crucial to good mental, emotional and psychological health from the caregiver perspective.

I am a caregiver myself that happens to have my own diagnoses. I have been doing this for a number of years, and understand the need for education, understanding and support. Even if you don’t have a diagnosis of your own, the day-to-day challenges of loving and caring for someone with a disorder can be very demanding and draining. It is not only strenuous on an individual in one aspect, but many to include but not limited too physically, emotionally and psychologically.

As caregivers we do not allow ourselves to have a lot of thought regarding our own needs and desires. There is a great tendency among the group whether intentional or unintentional is to allow our needs to be set to the back burner while we deal with each crisis at hand or daily challenges as they arise, however, this is not a healthy approach. Every individual regardless of labels needs to take great conscious care of themselves so that they in turn are capable of continuing the course they are currently on. This is where some of our dilemmas may begin.

You should ask yourself a few frank questions being very candid with your answers.

1. Are you getting enough sleep or is it restless and interrupted due to anxieties?

2. Are you eating healthy or are you so focused on the day-to-day challenges that you either grab what’s available or go without?

3. Do you have a time set apart just for yourself to recoup and rest? It could be ten minutes a day or an hour every other day to treat yourself to something relaxing, something that you enjoy?

4. Do you have a solid support system in place that you can rely on? Whether it is family members, friends, church, a face to face support group, or an online support group it doesn’t really matter as long as you know that you have people and/or places you can connect with so that you don’t have to feel alone. A place you can go and talk to others so that you may receive support and encouragement.

One of the biggest difficulties that caregivers share as a common denominator is making time for themselves. Of course there are other factors to be taken into consideration when making time for yourself; however, it must be remembered that you, your family, is only as strong as your weakest link. Proper care of self will promote a healthier more vital you. You will be able to reap the benefits of a rested brain that is more focused, support and encouragement from outside sources that will provide you with a sense of well-being during the day-to-day and a shoulder to lean on during the hard times.

This has only begun to scrape the surface of the many topics and subtopics that will be in future installments. I hope that you have enjoyed this one and will come back to see the others as this series progresses.

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**Today I'm featuring another article by Stan Popovich. Yesterday's article received a lot of views. I hope you all enjoy this one as well.**

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Today I'm featuring another article by Stan Popovich. Yesterday's article received a lot of views. I hope you all enjoy this one as well.